Pretending to be what you are not
We do it a lot. It is the hallmark of our institutionalized society. We have these ‘roles’ which we think we are supposed to fit into. We think other people expect us to fit into those roles too.
So we try to dress the part, look the part, say the right things. Why? So we will be treated as if we are the part. We are part of a large scam – and we know it.
Economic and other shocks reveal the Emperor’s clothes
When our lives are upset in some way – when our expenses are challenged, when our business model is scuppered by the internet, when our business contracts and our spending power takes a dive through a leaner cash flow or outright redundancy – we often find ourselves unduly taken up with “how will people treat me?”. Will I be taken seriously without my big car? <Panic and dismay>
But don’t make it worse by concentrating on the wrong thing
When someone has the rug pulled out from underneath them, it is sad to watch. Not because they lose their status but because they hang on to an irrelevant formula.
Get your priorities clear
Mate, just get your priorities clear. If a tsunami had swept over your town, you wouldn’t be stopping to blame yourself or to score points over you neighbour. You’d get to fundamentals.
- Where are the people I love?
- What are the immediate threats?
- What do we have to feed us, wash us, keep us safe? Where is clean water?
- Who around us needs help and can we help them?
Get real! It is so much easier!
Stop acting. Spin and scams looked good but it is time to get real
If you are feeling very uncomfortable in your skin or in your current circumstances, maybe stop acting. The old model is broken. Well, and truly bust. Don’t spend another thought on it. The tsunami has come . . . and gone. We are dealing with the aftermath. We can reminisce later. We can ask the climatologists what happened later. For NOW, we only want to know what happens NOW
Judge people by what they can deliver now. If they want you to play a part, do you really believe they have anything substantial to offer? Really?
Imagine arriving at a Red Cross tent after a tsunami and dealing with an official who is pretentious – who makes you fill in daft forms and play games. You will be quick to work out whether they have food for your children in their tent or not. And you will do the minimum to get it. You will get it, but you will do the minimum. These are clearly not people to be bothered with. You may be shocked that the aid workers are scam merchants but, really, you will be busy, so you will put aside the shock and concentrate.
If there is another tent where food is handed out briskly and you can get on with your life, you would choose that tent. Vote with your feet. Hanging around a badly run tent full of pompous officials who demand you look the part in some imaginary narrative will not get you anywhere. The tent might look good, but hang around only so long as they deliver what you need NOW!
Challenge your own pretensions
It really is important to get real. No one owes us a living, as the saying goes. Do today what needs to be done today.
We also owe a living to no one except the young, the sick, the infirm and the aged who cannot contribute any more. We have to learn to give unto Cesar. Pay the tax that we have to pay. Fill in the forms that we have to fill in. To use the contemporary expression “fake like they are human”. But ignore them otherwise. You are too, too busy, coping with what needs to be done today.
If they think less of you because your world has fallen apart, that is their lookout They are just not helpful.
But don’t lose more friends because you are worried about spinning and scamming in a world governed by necessity and real challenge. Attend to what is real. Leave the spin merchants to their imaginary life.